On The Othersideof the Lens

Photographer: Val Adamson

FUN! FUN! FUN! Is the only way to describe being a model for this shoot. I am no stranger to being on the other side of the camera, but this time it was a bit nerve wrecking because, it was for a real life client and I had to make a big impression to get on to the bill board. The people shooting me were strangers this time and were all standing around watching me. I realized that to make my life easier, I just had to be nobody else but myself.

Sunshine: test shot for the ECR Big Walk Campaign. Photographer: Val Adamson

There was a test shoot done a week before this one, I had to wake up early to go to the beach and catch the early morning golden sun. However it was getting bright fast and the sun started to affect me badly because it was now directly shining at the back of my head. I could swear I saw flying saucers and I felt like I was going to faint. Luckily the Photographer found a tap and filled a flask with water to drink for me. But it was fun even then.
On The big day, there were tents food and lots of water and the trampoline was a lot bigger. I felt like a kid again jumping away doing all these poses. Some were difficult because what your body does naturally when you jump like that and having to look at the camera at the same time was not easy. I have new respect for models for all the humanly impossible body positions they manage to pull off. I take my hat off to them.

Test shots for the ECR  Big Walk campaign. Photographer Val Adamson

Seeing myself on the bill board was sooo unreal, I didn't ever think I would ever see myself in that light. I feel very famous and humbled at the same time, I mean how many people get to be on a billboard? And as if the bill board was not enough the advert was featured in the Elle magazine. That just blew me away because I had such a hard time the last year with feeling of rejection and feeling like I wasn't good enough to be anything. This is what I was almost made to believe being in a bad relationship. But as soon as I got rid of the negativity in my life, the sun has been shining on me and I just feel blessed and over whelmed. It didn't feel this deep when I was doing the shoot but when I saw the images and my face and the spirit with in and the comments people made about the beautiful spirit it created through the colour and the smile, I started to see it differently.Go out there and take that BIG WALK OF FAITH!

'Don't Touch Me On My Studio"

You know that feeling of having to wear someone else's clothes or cologne when you unexpectedly slept over at their place?
This is the feeling I recently experienced when I had to handle someone elses' camera. It has happened before that it feels foreign at first to takeover a shoot with a camera that is not yours, but it had never happened with the state of mind I have been in recently. I am doing my masters in Photography and I am trying to look at safe space in which to bring the love for learning and teaching back in to photography in higher education.
So I picked up a camera that was not mine and I couldn't hold it they way I would hold mine, I didn't know where anything was for a few seconds, and my confidence just slipped away. Maybe it was the fact that I had not been practicing for a while, but that couldn't be it because I teach what I love, to learn to become like skin to me, so it wasn't that. I suddenly had a crazy thought, what if this was a real eye that belonged to someone else? Had the photographer and owner of that camera made such a spiritual bond that it became a part of him? This is what made me feel like I was invading the space  between his camera and him. Was the camera a jealous female (the hostility towards me was intense) Or was I just imaging things? I spoke to a photographer recently that has given his favorite camera a name, he calls her Monica. Could it be that the never spoken about belief, that the things we acquire take on a part of who we are? So do we have to get permission from the camera as well as the owner in order to use it? I ask because although the owner didn't mind me exploring his camera, I am sure I heard the camera say: "Don't touch me on my studio" please do share with me what you feel about this.